(Brian here).
What is adolescence? What is a teenager? What should be expected of teens? What should teens expect from themselves?
In this new book, Do Hard Things, twin teenage brothers, Alex and Brett Harris tackle these and many other "hard" questions and provide great answers and a refreshing perspective on the realization of the gifts, talents, and opportunities that God has given to teenagers.
I honestly feel as though I have know these guys, or at least I should know them. With each new page they express ideas that I have had for some time and have been trying to express to my students.
Look at the statistics, 2 out of 3 young people walk away from the faith they have been raised in. Why does this happen? I personally feel that we as adults, for years have dropped the ball. We don't expect much out of our teens, we don't expect them the really take their faith seriously. We expect them not to go out drinking, not to smoke pot, not to have sex, and to show up for church most weeks, and if they fall asleep in Sunday school...well at least they came. The teen who has a deep personal relationship with Jesus, who is involved in ministry, and who tries to make their choices based on what the Bible says more often than by what their friends say has become the exception. And what is the result...exactly what we expect. But we rationalize, "that's just the way teens are" or "this is just the culture they are growing up in" surely they have plenty of time to get serious in their 20's.
But this is not how the Bible views it. The Bible has no concept of the words teenager or adolescent. Rather Paul exhorts Timothy to not allow others to look down on him because of his youth but to set an example. In 1 John, John writes to young men because they are strong, and because the word of God lives in them and they have overcome the evil one. Timothy is a young man with great responsibility, wisdom, and maturity; David is a young man when he defeats Goliath, Joseph is a young man when he becomes great in Egypt and ends up saving God's people, Daniel is a young man, John the beloved apostle, Joshua, Samuel, all men who did great things at a young age. But we don't expect this from our teens.
I think one of the issues is that we don't provide many opportunities for them to discover their gifts and abilities. Sure we have pool parties, and lock-ins, fellowship events, and scavenger hunts, but how many "fun and easy" events do we have when compared to "hard service" events? And how many of the service events are they really responsible for. They help out with VBS, and go on a missions trip, some out reach events and the like, and these are all very good things and I don't not intend to be hard on them. But what I am talking about is how often are we willing to let them really have responsibility for a service project? Let them plan it, let them get creative and put their ideas into practice, let them experience the difficulty and hardship that can come from such ministry, not just in the safe environments were everything is all set up and they can't fail. I still think that we should be there to help and to provide wise council, but I think we would really be surprised with how enthusiastic they will be and just what they are capable of if we allow it.
One of the things that holds us back from doing this is that it can take a lot of effort on our part. It is hard work to disciple someone and it is often easier, and sometimes more effective for us to just do it ourselves. We wouldn't want a ministry to suffer in the the hands of unskilled workers who don't have experience. When we have this mentality we make a few mistakes. One is that the ministry will suffer. If we think this, we have placed to much worth in the work that we do and not enough in the work that God does with what we do. Second it takes a lot of work to train people up in the ways of righteousness... that should be obvious. Third would be to assume that teens are unskilled. While they may not have discovered or perfected all of their skills (who has?) they are Christians, and as such they have the Holy Spirit and this is the singular qualification needed by anyone to be effective in ministry. Not every ministry, we have different gifts but in ministry in general. Lastly they are a part of the body and as such we adults NEED them if we as a body are to live up to our calling.
What I have found is that when I expect a lot out of my students I get a huge return. I have also found that I need to be more faithful in expecting great things from them. We published a post back in February or March about an event my Sunday school class did. Our church has a monthly meal for homeless/ low income people from the community. The youth serve is this ministry periodically but not much is expected from them. So they show up and hand out some food and do it with a smile and then goof off and then hand out some more. Then the people who do this every month end up cleaning up the kitchen and doing all the hard work. This time was going to be different though. I told them they would have full responsibility for the month we served. They needed to plan the menu, cook the food or recruit others from the church to cook, set up the tables and chairs, plate and serve the food and do all the clean up and anything else that needed to be done. The deacon in charge came to our class and gave us a list of all the responsibilities that needed to be taken care of. Each week we set aside some time in class to prepare, I offered some help in getting a group of several food items that had been done in the past and they selected the menu. We all came in the night before and made the main course, a home made soup, dessert, and prepared for the following day. The kids were amazing, we had a great turn out and they were really excited and all said "we need to do this more often". One of the big things they want is to be taken seriously, to give them responsibility, and let them really serve. But this shouldn't be a surprise, you can't really live the Christian life without serving in some way. A Christianity that is self focused and not others focused is no Christianity at all.
Anyway I really recommend the book to everyone. Most who read this are not teens, if you have kids or are involved with kids in anyway, read this book, one of the best things we can do for them is to expect big things from them and to guide them and be there to provide wisdom and encouragement. For teens, if there is nothing expected of you, you need to expect big things from yourself and set your own bar. The book is fun and filled with personal stories from teens all over the world who have broken from this pattern of low expectations.
It is nearly 2 am and I apologize for the long post. Enjoy the book.
Vacation was wonderful. I think we could become professional beach bums. Our house was a block from the beach, and that's where you would have found us . . . every day, all day. After we had enough of the beach, we'd head back to the pool and hot tub. Then, we'd eat lots of good food in the evening and decide on what fun activity to do together. It was a rough life . . . it's hard being back.
Jenna, me and Krista
